"I Found a Million Dollar Baby"

A return of the bouncy, fun, but indistinguishable song like the ones featured in the first section. But interesting because it was first sung by Fanny Brice--'Funny Girl' made her very fascinating for me--and because it's a Depression song, and my daughter and I have been reading a lot about life in that time period.

A little while back one of my friends noted that I always seem to relate things to money. Not in a bad way, she was quick to say, but still. . . I was a bit mortified, because I knew exactly what she meant, and how true it was. And it feels crass to know that that's how I come across. But after a while, I stopped being so hard on myself. I do think an awful lot about money, and I worry about it, but it's not bad to know how to find a bargain, for starters. And we don't use credit cards, have not used them for years. I shop at yard sales and the Goodwill, rather than at department stores. I don't go shopping without a list, or at all, if I don't need something. I don't usually buy things if they're not on sale (I can tell you what I bought for full price, and why I had to do such a drastic thing), and at the grocery store I gravitate to things that are not only on sale, but that I also have a coupon for. I can tell you where all of my clothing came from, and how much it cost, if it was a gift or hand-me-over. At night when I wake up and can't sleep I'm figuring out how much money I have coming in, and which bills that will pay, and which ones are left, and when I might be able to pay them, and what I have to budget for next, and, and, and. . .

It helps when I remind myself of what my mother always says, 'If your only problems are money problems, you're in good company.' And at this point in my life, money is certainly less of a problem than it was. But my husband and I did not develop any skill with money easily or early, and it still requires a lot of discussion, and trying out 'wacky' things like budgets. I'm still happy that these discussions no longer have to include me breaking into hysterical tears over the pure frustration and overwhelming nature of the beast. Both my husband and I still get frustrated over it all sometimes, but I know that we've come a long way, and I can't regret any of the bargain finding skills or frustrated tearful times, if we are growing in a good direction.

Since I am a parent, I am also thinking of what we're passing on to our daughter. My family growing up went through various periods where money was short, and it ended up affecting each of us profoundly, but in very different ways. How will my daughter be when it's her turn to be out on her own with utility bills? My father always said that I would find the real world horrible when it came time to pay bills on my own, but this didn't happen quite the way he said it would, for all my frustration. If learning to deal with money is another one of those grown-up lessons, well, it's not so bad. It's another game and balancing act, and we are in good company indeed.