"Look To the Rainbow"

A simple, pleasant song. I have the feeling that it would be more memorable in the context of its original musical, and performer. Otherwise, I am unsurprised to be unfamiliar with this one.

My husband doesn't expect to survive me. He doesn't come out and say it like that, he's a master of few words in many respects, but that's my reading of the infamous subtext. I'm older than he is, but he's an old man deep in his heart, and I don't think he envisions a long life for himself. That, or he has plans to leave me. Either way, I don't like it.

I was thinking today about the oddness of having a life partner, a spouse. I really can't imagine surviving with my husband, though I suspect that I would, somehow. Other people do, and I'm a big believer in being able to do something that many other folks have done.

I am so invested in this man--so much that I am loathe to rock the boat in many ways. I know that I should occassionally, at least to keep in practice, to keep myself from being complacent or stuck, but there are things that I just keep hoping will grow into better places, and who can I blame but myself when they don't? If it bothers me, I should speak. But speaking feels so slippery: previous words have left the ground rocky with assumptions, bad feelings, memories. I don't want to cut my feet--what would I stand on, then? I suppose they'll heal.

Nothing is simple, really. I need to keep that in mind. All sorts of stuff together in the mix, some bits I can pick out and identify, most stuff I just eat, digest as well as I can, and let what I need nourish me. Continue the analogy at your own risk. I'm going to keep cooking.