"Blue Tango"

I'm not sure how I feel about tangos having lyrics at all, but as far as it goes, this was fun to sing, and to play. As an entry back into my happy blogging world, not bad at all. Having taken a break, even a break that gives me no regrets, does make me realize how much I like this process. As a bonus, it's good for my vocal and pianistic processes. I'm not sure that my writing is any better, I think there I might need some boost of knowledge and view point from the outside world to improve that, and I'm not sure that I'm confident enough, yet, to get it.

It’s very good to be singing and playing again. It was important to me to begin this again today, on my actual birthday: to begin as I meant to go on. In that spirit, I also ran today, played a little bit of piano, and folded the laundry. Ok, maybe I don’t really want to do laundry every day, but considering how much that task annoys me, I’d like to learn some measure of acceptance while doing it.

While I was running I checked in with my body: How do I feel? Do I feel forty? I just felt like me. I feel that there is a lot of external pressure at this age: to be different, entering some mysterious new bracket of being ‘grown up’, and in this case, that doesn’t seem to be a state that I’m aiming for, if it means acceptance of the status quo, and cessation of growth. I’m not sure whether to be glad of my ‘liberal hippy-ness’, and its continued inspiration in my life, or whether to be embarassed about how I do very much value people, including myself, who choose inner growth, inner knowing.

Here's to me, to continuing the work I have begun: taking care of myself, treating myself well, not being afraid of the mysteries I may contain, both light and dark, keeping my priorities clear. The next decade has begun well with today.