"I Get A Kick Out of You"

Cole Porter, of course, but again one of my not-so-favorites. Jazzy, fun, might be more fun with someone else playing the piano on this one, since much of the drive is from the syncopation. Disappointingly, they don't include the line that goes 'I get no kick from cocaine', which is just a great historical reference in the piece. I did hear this on the recording of Ella Fitzgerald singing the Cole Porter songbook, and she pulls it off like it belongs there, which, it does.

Lately I've been feeling fairly good, and totally stressed, at the very same time. I feel like I have no time to breathe, feel guilty taking an hour to myself for lunch, but yet in some way I'm very happy with how I just keep moving and moving and moving. Proud of my accomplishments, maybe. I did finish the Halloween costume for my daughter, for the most part, enough to get a bucket of candy with it. But my question is this: is it at all possible for me to get things done ahead of time, to ever feel even slightly caught up? Do I always have to be doing things with almost-impossible deadlines in order to feel good, or even in order to accomplish anything worthwhile? I like having the crazed last-minute-finish as an option, certainly, but I think I'd like to add some things to my repetoire, to not feel quite so manic.

I feel like life is this: learning things about how to live better, whatever that means to us. For me, it's figuring out how to do to the best of my ability those things I hold as important, and those things which bring me pleasure, and striking a balance. I want to overcome my flaws as much as I can. This manic-thing, like so many other things in me and everyone else I know, seems to be a flaw tied to a gift. I think I could easily lose both trying to 'fix' it. And I don't know what would replace it, but something would. I feel like I should figure out the contingency plan before I stride boldly forward. Meanwhile, it does feel like a very guiltly pleasure to love my frantic-ness.

Off to bed. Giving myself permission to not make this one perfect, either.