"(How Much is That) Doggy In the Window"

My daugther, unbelievably, had not yet known this song. We had a lot of fun barking through it. Arf! What is it doing in this book?

When I'm under stress I can feel and see my particular coping behaviors coming into play. Sometimes it's obsessive cleaning, or eating, or drinking. Sometimes it's not eating. Today I discovered again the benefits of playing 'Solitaire' on my PDA: it's something that can occupy large amounts of my rational mind while something settles on other, more emotional levels. Playing other computer games, or mindlessly surfing the Internet: these, potentially very stressful times are the moments to indulge in these things.

Stress is so odd. Remembering times in the past when I was stressed doesn't really help, the fog doesn't lift with tricks of distraction so easily. I remember to breathe, again and again, but I can't seem to stick to it. I tell myself that the process is all good, it's all a learning, even if I can't tell from inside the bucket if it's making my progress towards open air any quicker, or easier.

Knowing that something will not be fun, knowing that it will, in fact, be unpleasant and difficult: I'm not sure that this really helps me. Maybe, though: I have to believe that there's some chance of it. From deep in the bucket, the bucket in the well, it's just impossible to know anything for sure.