"Four Strong Winds"

This is a Canadian folk song that I didn't know, it's not bad. It has a nice, traditional feel.

I feel like a tightrope walker these days, determined to get my balance. Or maybe it's more like walking on the strands of a spider's web, catching my balance, as well as trying to not get stuck anywhere. I'm finding it difficult to speak with any clarity about my life, and what's happening in it. I've determined that my head is a bit full, but I'm only in the problem-identification phase, no where near the problem-solving phase for this element.

Although it seems a bit counter-productive, I have been able to actually relax with a book a bit lately, which I believe to be a good sign for the long term. My personal batteries have not been charged lately, and this is a start. As my friend, Patricia, would say, I haven't had enough sacred stupid time. For me this is either reading books that do not require much brain power (some novels work, the history of Henry VIII's wives does not) or playing computer games (personal favorite of old is Civilization, but I just got the Sims, which looks to be adequately engrossing and distracting as well).

I am trying to figure out if this blog project is worth continuing beyond this current songbook. I have at least one more book that I could go through, and I'm liking the singing so much that I'd do it for that reason alone. Beyond the la-la, the discipline of daily writing is still good, and I am accepting better the reality that though most days will yield no gold in that regard, when I least expect it, something I write will click for me, and work. And sight reading a piece on piano every day has noticeably improved my skills in that area.

I think I will remind and encourage friends to read again. If that doesn't work, I'll need to re-evaluate my needs to be heard, to write, to sing, and to play. Is this the combination here that can work, or do I need to re-form these elements in some other way? What do I really think, believe, and need around the issues of being heard?