"Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"

Yes, a bit out of season, but they couldn't have predicted my grand scheme here. The classic version of this song, the one that saves it forever from being just a kid's song, is the one by Bruce Springsteen. It felt like a very important event when we introduced our daughter to that version this past Christmas. It is weird to think that it's twenty years old now.

My brain is working on overtime recently, though not in a bad way. I've been taking advantage of this milestone year in lots of ways, including treating myself to various things, some tangible, some less so. I've give myself permission to shop at Aveda maybe a *second* time this year. I've officially begun, as of today, my collection of cool cowboy boots to wear (I would have given my eye teeth for this pair of navy Frye harness boots in high school or college). I'm loving my new iPod and using it everywhere. I'm sewing more. My ongoing piano and voice lessons continue to give me great joy. I'm thrilled to know that my entire family will be at my birthday party, as well as a bunch of amazing friends (enjoying the resulting mix of folks is also something to be happily anticipated). I'm resuming my regular yoga practice, which got temporarily disrailed when I began running.

Perhaps most importantly, I'm appreciating what gifts I have to give to the world, to those I love, and to myself. Maybe my gifts are a large collection of little special things, rather than some grand scheme or project. I'm letting myself try new things, or new ways of thinking about things, which is even more liberating. I'm exploring my self-perceptions: how closely do they relate to reality, and how much does that matter? I'm consciously talking to people who will spur me on to new understandings, and new questions to explore. I feel weirdly together.

Everything is not being accomplished, and I'm ok with that, too. Things are getting done enough, enough progress is being made on my key projects, both personally and for my family and career. I'm busy in ways that do not feel crushing or cramped. I'm realistic in my goals, practical as well as adventurous.

I think I'm really going to be ok, growing up, and I'm not so worried about what I'll be. When I get there (again and again) I'm sure it will be just fine.