"One Alone"

I think this whole section is not working for me. I love a lot of the classical songs I learned in college, especially Faure, Hahn, and Ned Rorem, for starters. But this section is all about the operetta, and it's been a little overblown for me, not direct enough. I like the passion of this song, though, and it isn't so horrible.

Oh, to know then what I know now. I wish I had the understanding of my voice then that I do now. Of course then I always seemed to be physically sick with something, which made it difficult to progress with my practicing; and I was also endlessly distracted by anything but my classes. But what if I had found then the same freedom and joy in singing that I have now? I must have had some of it, to have pursued music as I did. I still would have craved the harmony. Little made me happier than to be in choir, with a strong bass voice singing in my right ear.

I am still happiest with someone singing on my right side, actually. I have more trouble hearing people on my left, though my hearing always checks out fine on both sides. It's handy that that's the side that my husband needs me to be on, as well, so that his hearing ear faces me. Hearing issues are bit prevalent these days in our family.

When my audition a while back turned out to not result in me having my big chance to be a huge rock star (don't laugh, Jackie), my husband suggested that I form my own band. At one point he and I were in a sort of band with a couple other friends, and we did play out a few times, though unfortunately we never managed to record anything that really captured us at our best. I did start thinking, again, though, about what my ideal band would be, should I be able to form such a thing out of mud, a golem in my studio. And mostly, it's the harmony again that makes me happy. All those years of being in choirs, and being a damn fine choir singer, it'd be super to be able to use those skills again, be in close harmony with two or three other parts, person to a line. . . it wouldn't matter so much what we were singing, even.

Tonight, alas, the next step to solve this puzzle is not going to occur to me. But my eyes are open, I know it's out there, or they, or you, are out there. You know who you are. Step up and let me hear you sing.