"Tea for Two"

Out of the Rodgers and Hart section, still in the larger Broadway group. This one is sweet, catchy, sticks in your head in not a bad way. I'm not a tea person myself, but luckily that's not relevant at all. I've heard coffee songs, a rum and coke song, tequila, whisky and beer all represented, but I don't know any hot chocolate songs, alas. But surely there must be some wine songs extolling the virtues thereof.

I've been thinking a lot about that fabulous awkward feeling one can get, specifically as it refers to being with people I really want to have like me, people I'm some sort of friends with, those with whom I'd like to take the next step towards a true friendship. I think highly of these nice folks, and it's really important to me to make these relationships work. So around these people I tend to become a blithering idiot. All concepts of sense and logic and plotline are gone without a trace, and there is not even a whiff of what-a-together-gal-this-is in the air. I start out saying something that I think will make me look cool, or at least not hopelessly uncool, and as the words continue to come out of my mouth I realize that I'm just not making any sense, and it would make the situation even more obviously mangled to try. Ideally at this point I am able to gracefully sputter to a stop. I'd like to believe that this state that I find myself in is not the same as the comparable teenage situation, but in reality I'm sure it's just a slightly more grown-up version, now with a large dose of self-awareness of my tendency to speak total nonsense, just to really complete the horrible uncontrollable aspects.

It sucks for my self esteem to find myself in this situation, and thankfully, unlike my teenage years, it doesn't occur that often. But when it does, or worse, when I know it's coming, the best being older seems to get me is the knowledge that it will be over at some point, and if I can try to mostly keep my mouth shut, it won't be as bad as it could be. This person will probably never find me to be cool, I think, realistically, and that will be ok. Maybe they will think kindly of me, at least, say hello on the street.

In family situations an exciting variation can occur, where I am still somewhat desparately trying to get the attention and approval I want from my parents: look at me! look, look! Mommy, see me! When I and my five siblings are all trying this at once it's either extremely sad, or a very good show.